| (OOC: I think I'm going to switch over to a narrative writing style now rather then first person.)
Jonathan sits in his penthouse looking out at the skyline of Manhattan from his leather executive chair. He whirls the fresh blood in his glass while idly stares off into the night sky. Thoughts of the events that have come to pass this weekend plague his mind with no end. "I'm alive, after all that was against me, I'm alive? How is this to be?" Letting the thoughts of Father Liodanis flood his memory. Recalling all the evenings he use to spend in St. Patricks Cathedral, discussing philosophy and the meanings of their Requiems. His bond with him was like having a brother in a cold and lonely city.
"Why did he do this to himself... I thought a Ventrue's word was sacred, even beyond covenant. All his speaches of unity and believing in the greater good for humanity?... Bullshit, all of it... But why?! All he had to do was come to me with his idea's. If he wanted so badly to overthrow Gavin, why not come to me?!" Jonathan stands up and begins pacing the room with his drink in hand "Sure my Covenant is my passion but we are family of the blood! I would have done so much for a fellow Ventrue just like any of us would! If not for the love, then for at least the dignity and decency that flows through our veins... I mean, what sort of Ventrue would be so dispicable and pathetic as that?!" He lowers his head in shame as he continues to think of Father Liodanis using his friendship as a tool. But then his grip on his glass begins to tremble as his thoughts drift to a more darker thought... Mr. Mason's time as Prefect.
( It gets worse :-p ) | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| So far I've spent a few nights speaking to Robert Paige, THE FUCKER WON'T BREAK! I've been trying to get him to go under so I can delve into his mind and he keeps... TENSING UP! I hope he didn't fuck like he tries to relax in his mortal years otherwise I don't know how the idiot even put himself inside half the women he brags about. At least Antoine has been kind enough to be by his side while I try calming him down to get him to fall under my gaze, so far he has been to stressed out. Honestly, I can't blame the boy. Rumors have been persisting now that he is to be removed from Prefect and our leadership position has been treated like a revolving door so far so it's a rumor with some heavy consideration to take. I feel sorry for the guy but at the same time, if you let this kind of manipulation happen to you in the first place, you probably deserve it.
I've calm down to the point where I've even just... Given up on revenge. The Hound for hire, the man who kept mercilessly punching me while I was being held, even my fellow brethren idiot "Captain Crunch," they all came down upon me rather then letting me handle myself against that egotistical brat. One part of me wants to slap myself back into my rage since I did put a bit of effort to avenge myself against half the Kindred who didn't make Simon's tiff with me a fair fight but in the end it's just... I have much more rewarding goals to work toward for the moment, and besides... I can wait.
Finally, my... "Episodes" have died down, I seem to be feeling much better. I've even been going outside more often and even in the daylight with a help from a few of my tennents. So far I've been inside the Walters, most of the Ericksons, a few of the employees at Evison Inc. on the 17th floor... I think I'll make some designs on that secretary of theres. I've been noticing how she gawks at the new intern and he seems to have a pretty fertile body for... Enjoying ones self. What a pitty most of the Daeva no longer know what it's like to feel your heart (or well... For that matter someone elses heart race) inside your chest or your the sensation of a women's caress. I can't wait to
::The log stops for a couple of minutes::
A present! It seems the security downstairs forgot to give me a delivery that came today. I ordered some toys from the "Sportsman Guide" and I think I'm going to be testing them out on our ignorant pirate in the harbor since he now needs to be kept on a leash at all costs. The only problem I'm having at the moment is how exactly do I get this Nitrogen canister to... Nevermind, it's working. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Silent Hill Soundtrack - A Psychotic Angel | | Subject: | Isn't it over? | | Time: | 02:06 am |
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| After having some long talks with Felipe, he made me dwell on a very dark chapter of my life. I thought I had completely over come my sins but... I'm starting to question my self again. We sat down and talked about if he could help me with communicating with spirits that have not had the chance to pass on as of yet and then it all hit me like opening a flood gate, the years I spent in my holding cell, the newspaper clippings of all those poor innocent people... I even personally knew a few of them, Mrs. Clemmings from the brownstones... Little timothy, the child who I use to watch across the fields while he played little league during my mortal years. The faces, the people, those nights... They all came back the moment I even thought about trying to seek redemption for what I've done. I should have left well enough alone rather then trying to seek out that Crone's help, I'm a god damn Vampire, not some horrible protagonist in a story. I fucked up, now I live with what I am and move on, not sulk over...
I could have swore I heard the scratching again. That... That persistant lull dragging of a blade across the floor! I remember that noise... In the cell. He would make me run through the halls of the ward for fear of my life. How the hell did he get up here?! No, there was more then just him. I think I've woken them all up... All I wanted to do was ask for forgiveness from them! Are they really here?!
::5 minutes later his journal picks up where it left off::
I think I'm much better now. The noises... All those sounds seem to be gone now. I've really need to get a grip on myself. God knows I wasn't locked up because I was being tortured by ghosts, their just my mind trying to punish my psyche for... Ugghh, I don't even want to get into this psycho-babble bullshit. I just need to grow up and be a monster just like... Like... Wait, he hasn't called me back. That son of a bitch! I bet he is responsible for Mr. Page acting all out of place! Wait till I get my hands on that pompus fuck and... YES! Right here! "Adopt 3 or more pets at the ASPCA and get free food and medical treatment for a year!" I wonder what they would have in line of Dobermans... I could drop Simon into a pit filled with a few pets of mine for making a puppet out of poor Mr. Page... Only after they haven't been fed for a week, naturally.
::Sigh:: This means I'll have to get evidence... First hand evidence. I'm sure Mr. Page won't mind me probing around in his head if I make him forget what I've been doing. After all, I could present him to the Mekhets if I find anything that nails that fuck to the wall and they can probe him at their own leisure, I just want to make sure the evidence will remain their in his head if there is anything to incriminate him. I just want to make sure I'm not going to fuck this up. I just... I... Should I really ask Felipe to help me with my problems? He is Ventrue but what if he uses whats left of my past to torture me... I'ld have to destroy... NO! He's been so kind to me and offered me nothing but his kindest of intentions... I need to find out whats happening to me, is it my blood playing mind tricks again or... Oh god, they can't be real. I hope I'm not sane. I don't want to be sane... Please... | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| As of late, my entire world has been falling apart around me. I shouldn't have listened to my sire, staying inside my haven, tucked away in my penthouse never seemed so good as of right now. Nobody knew me back then besides other Carthians, no enemies knew I even existed... I was safe and I threw it all away just so I could get involved in Politics. I can't believe how stupid I was, and now I can't even find a way out of the trouble I've found myself in. That fucking idiot Robert has put our entire covenant into jeopardy as soon as we made him a Prefect, I knew I should have taken charge and thrown away this position of Myrmidon so I could lead the rest. Every Prefect we've had has been to god damn ambitious and wreckless and yet again, we find ourselves in an ever continuing cycle. Then, that fucking prick of an Invictus, Simon... He just couldn't shut up. His belittling, arrogant, selfish fucking comments... I wanted his throat right then and there, but I'm so glad he showed everyone how Invictus diplomacy is carried out. To hear everyone whispering and talking about him, I see that taunting him had finally paid off. If a Carthian is not to govern this city, I'll be damned if one of those First Estate morons will... But something bothers me... Did he do something to Mr. Page? What the hell was that moron babbling about all the covenants backing him up? Robert is much smoother then that, to walk into a conversation and not be prepared to defend his talk... Why the hell would he say that he had the support of other angered covenants? Something doesn't sit well with me on that...
I'm actually going to pay Simon a visit to ask him Kindred to Kindred if he threw the talks into anarchy just to make us all look like the bad guys... Naturally I'll be taking a few precautions this time. What hurts even more is Giermo... That bastard, a crowd of Kindred beat me into torpor and all he did was stood by and watched. I've held back the entire covenant from ripping his head off after he beat Mr. Mason's childe and this is the thanks I recieve from that fucking pirate?! He shall be bound to me by my blood less he would prefere the option of a final death. I shall suffer his ignorance no longer.
But I must not become distracted, I've been wanting to find a way to kind of make these memories go away (Or at least lay my sins to rest.) I've been thinking about the people that I've layed to rest, how they were all innocent and unsuspecting of their doom, just as I was. If Kindred can exist, why can't the Ghosts of those I've brought to death also persist? Felipe seems like a decent person and after all, he is a Crone so he knows much of.... GOD DAMNIT! I don't know if that his blood in me speaking or my own free will. Shit... Well, all I know is he's a Crone and he knows magic, so I need him in order to learn about the dead and their restless spirits. Hopefully he won't be too hard to reach. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| I was terrified in the helicopter but I think I'ld even be more paranoid if I were on the ground, so I flew over to Atlantic City and met with the people of that court. Only 2 Carthian members?! Good god, and their Prefect (Of 2) was a complete moron. After some tampering with his head, he is ready to rally any other entering carthians down there to the gathered Movement in the North East. Now that New York and New Jersey are in alignment, there are a few loose ends that need to be tied up between the members of Connecticut and New York... For some reason they seem to breed a group Sarcastic Carthian assholes up there, Mr. De' Lamont and I will have to speak to them and if needed, FIX them. We can't have pompus assholes representing our Movement.
::Sigh:: Is it so much to ask for compitent members for the greatest cause known to Kindred?! Were trying to promote liberty with sarcastic ignorance and slacking... If I don't fix things soon, this covenant's holdings in the North East will fall to mockery and disrespect. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | This upcoming weekend there is a court being held in Atlantic City. I've never actually LEFT this city EVER but there is a first time for everything and with this idea I'm trying to promote with my haven, I've gotta start making contact with neighboring Domains. Hopefully with a little bit of persuasion, I can get the Chief to even grant my haven as an Elysium since I'll be making it open to the public. At least that way I can enforce protection over my haven and the people I harbor twice over... Antoine has been teaching me the ways of his personality and how the discipline of Majesty amplifies this, I MUST learn this gift. For the every least, to adress many of my fellow covenant members who seem to step out of line or ignore my idea's for unifying the Movement here in the city. At least then I might be heard rather then overlooked when proposing how to keep this Movement together and at full steam. I can't wait to make more associates down in Atlantic City, if not try out some Gambling as well. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Negotiations have been going quite well as of lately for my half way house idea. Already a few kindred have expressed their desire and their successes with their own, but one idea that was proposed to me was making it an Elysium, why didn't I think of this before?! I'm falling behind here, I'm far more smarter then to overlook something that obvious... It's this damn stress over assassins and pirates. I've been really thinking of mind fucking that moron to dress more appropriately, good god he is an embaressment to our Movement. I mean after all, there are only 2 kind of Carthians... One who support the movement, and the one who would use it for his or her own means. I doubt Captain Crunch is feeling very political at the moment while backhanding females of our court... Fucking pig.
I wonder what the tennents in the building have been up to. I think I'll go downstairs to a few of the floors and see what's going on. OOH! Mrs. Garcia should be cleaning the floors tonight, I think I'll take out a bit of my frustrations with her... How the hell is one so lucky to have gorgeous cleaning ladies for their haven? It truly is good being a Carthian. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I can't believe our Prefect was almost assassinated... What kind of monsters does this court hold? Even then, people were speaking of revenge and trying to slaughter all who would try to kill our beloved Mr. Mason... What sort of insanity is this? Then I'm made a Myrmidon for our covenant while some barbaric pirate is bitch slapping Unalligned females of this court? There needs to be order brought back to this piss poor excuse of a court. And having a double dealing native american as our "Chief?!" I don't know what to do about all this but unfortunately these "Hounds for Hire" will pay. The only question is to allow them to live through their punishment or let them die by the hands of Mr. Mason himself... After all, it's only fair since they were going to end his life. After that, Giermo... This Carthian "Pirate." Ugh, he's next on the agenda but what to do with a fellow brother of the Movement.
Then there have been the murders in the news... I'm almost POSITIVE that a kindred is behind this. I think I'm going to start taking some time outside to investigate this since it touches a bit of a personal spot with me. I just hope it's another innocent Kindred that can be saved if he or she knows not what they do. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Yea! The depths of Jonathan's insanity, in HTML FORMAT! :-p | | comments: Leave a comment |
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